Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Glad to know we have something important to worry about

I was really worried there for a second. I saw this video and while it was offensive, it was more laughable. Then the reactions started spilling in.

From the NY Times Because I can take an article seriously when the title is "Breadwinning Wives and Nervous Husbands"

What happens when a man marries a woman who has the education and skills to earn more than him? The couple can avoid violating the “man earns more” social norm if the woman works part time or leaves the labor force altogether. The authors found evidence of both choices. But what if the woman stays in the labor force and does earn more than her spouse? How does this affect the marriage? The findings here are striking. In such couples, surveys show, both wife and husband generally report being less happy about the marriage. 
Because blaming women always works

Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant (R) said Tuesday that America’s educational troubles began when women began working outside the home in large numbers.

How generous of you

Ladies, if you want to work that’s fine. If your position in life makes it advantageous for you to be the primary bread winner, that’s fine. But your individual circumstances and mine should not hide the fact that there is an ideal and optimal family arrangement whether we in our own lives can meet it.

More facts from NY Times

Four in 10 American households with children under age 18 now include a mother who is either the sole or primary earner for her family, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of Census and polling data released Wednesday. This share, the highest on record, has quadrupled since 1960.

The shift reflects evolving family dynamics.

Never thought I'd be praising someone from Fox News

When Lou Dobbs cuts in and says "Excuse me, let me just finish what I'm saying if I may, Oh, Dominant One," I thought my head was going to pop off. The privilege and entitlement, not to mention extreme douchery just drips from his mouth.

Fact is, when you become a parent, things change. No one is debating that. And kids were not consulted before being produced, so they need parental guidance. Having said that, one's whole identity does not need to become parent-oriented. Parents were people before becoming parents and will still be after parents. And it shouldn't be the women who are automatically assumed or forced to be the caregiver. It does a disservice to men who want to be emotional but are ridiculed for being un-masculine and it does a disservice to women who love kids but also love their lives and jobs. Women shouldn't be shamed for their choices, be it working outside of the home or working inside the home. But if they choose to work outside of the home, evil will not befall their children in a heartbeat because they are terrible mothers.

I look to Meg at A Practical Wedding for some sanity on that issue.

While I’m interested in questioning the feminist implications of the “new domesticity,” there is danger in confusing cultural trends with actual people.

These men who made these comments will never have to struggle with the choice to have a child and how life altering it can be. Nor do they stop to think that there are some women who aren't able to afford to work inside the home in the world. Not every family can afford it. Their target audience appears to be upper middle class heterosexual white families, which is not surprising but damaging and frustrating. And of course in their world, women who choose not be mothers don't exist, which is equally hurtful.

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