Sunday Snippets: Happy Mother's Day!

My mom and I are getting pedicures. We roll hard.

Abortion rights

The researchers found that “a year after being denied an abortion, 7 percent reported an incident of domestic violence in the last six months,” compared to 3 percent of the women who received abortions. The researchers concluded that this “wasn’t because the turnaways were more likely to get into abusive relationships,” but that “getting abortions allowed women to get out of such relationships more easily.”

Shut up and take my money

Because puppies

Happiest picture indeed

Sad but even more sadly, not surprising

In 2002, Iraqi officials asked for the return of the Gate, to no avail. A year later, the U.S. invaded the country.

Holy shit, that's awesome Bill Nye the Science Guy = one of my favorite people ever

Haven't tried this method, but plenty others

I used the sea sponge for awhile (you want to inspire awkward looks in a public restroom, try washing one in the sink sometime) but now I use cloth pads. I do have a few disposables at work, in case of emergencies, but I rather enjoy not having to literally throw my money away.

Names are important These women's names deserved to be told and remembered and they need to be found. & More Information

*headdesk* Yes please, let's pink-ify everything that has female attached to it. And people wonder why I don't want to reveal any future squidlets' gender ahead of time.

Truth

Oof, in the feels

It felt like buying a house meant buying the cultural narrative that came with it.

This. Right freaking here. I feel like this with all of the adult decisions I've made in the past five years.

*pets* I need to go exploring with my camera more.

Exactly. There are so many children lost.

That's terrifying

Because cats

Five years

This got me thinking....

So really, when I think about it, nothing has changed. And nothing will change. All of my life I have dreamt of being happy, and I am. The greatest part is that my life is (hopefully) far from over, so I get to continue on this path to happiness. The exciting part is figuring out what that happiness will look like along the way.

At the end of the month, I'll be attending my five year college reunion. Yes, I'm still that young, but it truly amazes me how much time has passed.

Five years ago, I was a hot mess. No driver's license, no place to live and no job. I was still grappling with my anxiety disorder, trying to figure out why my brain made me cry.

So much has changed. I've changed. I went to therapy (best/hardest decision), struck out on my own, built a partnership with my now husband, was unemployed for two years, struggled with working two jobs to keep a roof over our heads and got married.

I can really relate to wanting to be happy, having that be your goal in life. For so long, my goal was to survive the next day and the next and the next. And these days, I really am happy. Sure, who wouldn't want more money/free time? But I have love in my life and I wake up knowing that I can make my life whatever I want, as corny as that sounds. I didn't have that option for so long and to have it now, for the rest of my life, is a beautiful gift.

Lightheartedness

I walked out this morning and breathed deeply. It wasn't hazy or humid or balls to the wall hot out for the first time in a while, certainly since July has rolled around. I drove through the farm, the backroads of Beltsville and NASA, with the sun filtering through the trees. I even turned off the radio. It felt nice.

I've been mulling around this post for awhile, talking about the lightness of the heart or soul. For much of my life, I didn't experience such a thing. Most people who know/knew me saw that I was a vivacious and upbeat person, but it was usually only extended to my exterior life, because once I entered my house, it was hell on earth. That's a phrase used quite a lot, but for abuse survivors, they know I don't exaggerate. My life was stolen and fed back to me in small, censored pieces. I wasn't allowed to lounge around all day Sunday, devouring a stack of library books. I wasn't allowed to go out with friends because if I asked permission (even after I turned 18, I still had to ask permission) when my father was in a manic mood, I was verbally abused for even thinking of having friends.

It was hard to readjust. I was away at college, but he could still email/call/visit and try to control me. Stealing my life back became a necessity that I don't think I even understood at the time or knew how to verbalize. I feel, for the past six months or so, that after hacking through the abuse, the therapy needed to cope with said abuse, dealing/healing with my GAD, learning to communicate in a healthy way with friends and family, I want to sing and cry with joy.

Having a marriage in which my husband that writes me notes saying "I'm so glad we have made a commitment to a non-violent relationship because that is so important in a marriage" makes me want to fall to my knees and thank whoever I need to that I don't have my parent's marriage. And something as simple as deciding to pick up a pizza for my husband and BIL after work and deciding to get something from the liquor store is a simple joy to me. Owning my life, owning myself is such a simple but complex joy that I will never take for granted ever again. Nor is it something that anyone can take away from me ever again.