Sunday Snippets: Federally sanctioned kidnapping

I'm so glad that my senator went to El Salvador. We need all Dems to step up like this!

USDA Cuts Hit Food Banks Across the Country: ‘This Is Just the Tip of the Iceberg’

Being a librarian was already hard. Then came the Trump administration

Titanic scan reveals ground-breaking details of ship's final hours

What would a general strike in the US actually look like?

Let's claim the term "prosocial"

Bread Lines, Empty Shelves, Bombed Farms — This Is How Starvation Feels in Gaza

DOGE is About Sex

How Much Do I Really Need to Know?

Why is Congress So Afraid of Moms?

Trump takes aim at the people who protect national parks from climate change

Target suffers 10th consecutive week of foot traffic declines, sinking stock prices since caving on DEI

ICE came for their neighbor, so these Tennesseans formed a human chain to protect him

Photos: Two years of war in Sudan

Sunday Snippets: Tired

Bingo time: is it spring allergies, perimenopause or the horrors that make me wake up feeling more tired than when I went to bed?

K-12 schools must sign certification against DEI to receive federal money, administration says

Perfect poem

Pro organizers as capitalism therapists

Teaching in a ‘Sanctuary City’ Under Siege

“You’re Here Because of Your Tattoos”

Stories of Resistance: Mothers of Argentina’s 30,000 disappeared half-century struggle for justice

Instagram and the Creative Process

Who Gets to Define Divorce

I spent four decades not sleeping a wink – until a doctor took my insomnia seriously

The Austin-Area Teen Trump Disappeared to El Salvador

Chosen Places: Kamikatsu Village, Japan

Long Island man is first in New York history to be cured of sickle cell anemia

Major deal wipes out $30 billion in medical debt. Even backers say it's not enough

Roberts temporarily halts deadline for Trump administration to return mistakenly deported man

A Maryland mother was detained by ICE nearly two weeks ago. So far, no evidence has been provided

Sunday Snippets: Voting

Have you voted yet? Let's keep the fascists out of the places where decisions are made.

Dear Mom: A Photo Essay

Everything everywhere all at once

“God, No, Not Another Case.” COVID-Related Stillbirths Didn’t Have to Happen.

Radioactive waste found at Missouri elementary school

Eclipse the dog, known for riding the bus alone to the dog park, has died

Afghan couple accuse US Marine of abducting their baby

How Black Death survivors gave their descendants an edge during pandemics

Maryland officials order the reinvestigation of about 100 deaths in police custody

Indigenous Peoples’ Day: It’s time to end the Indian Wars

Contaminated cough syrup from India linked to 70 child deaths. It's happened before

The fearless midwives of Pakistan: In the face of floods, they do not give up

Sunday Snippets: Autumn

Cherishing the fall crisp air.

Emily Oster’s Pandemic Parenting Guidance Is All About the Data

School Board demands psychiatric records from Parkland parents

Trump Takes ‘Toxic Masculinity’ to New, Contagious Levels

Women Are Not OK

The data scientist exposing US white supremacists: 'This is how you fight Nazis'

Antiabortion groups say they stand behind Trump's use of a drug tested on cells derived from an aborted fetus because the president 'was not involved with that abortion'

N.S. lobster catch destroyed, vehicle burned as tension rises over Indigenous fishery

Police Are Cutting Ties With Domestic Violence Programs That Support Black Lives Matter

Sunday Snippets: Fall

Fall of the bugs, patriarchy, Republican party....

'This Is Too Much': Working Moms Are Reaching The Breaking Point During The Pandemic

Breonna Taylor case grand juror: We weren’t given the option of indicting the two cops who shot her

Why this man is too emotional to be president

Hard Conversations: How to Talk to Kids About White Privilege

Book Review: Why Have Kids?

Jessica Valenti's latest book, Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness seeks to set aside the most inane and naive beliefs about mothering and parenthood in present day America.

Which she does. Mostly.

There are a lot of really great resources  books, articles, movies, blogs, etc about mothering and parenthood. Having gobbled down a lot of them, this read was more of a refresher course. The book is divided into two general sections: Lies and Truth, which are then further broken down into sub-categories, on topics such as breastfeeding, "bad" mothers, and the death of the nuclear family.

She draws attention to legitimate problems: cis-gender women who are pregnant are treated less than equal, women are still expected to become the primary caretakers of the children and put their needs last, women who work outside of the home are still left carrying most of the housework, even though their partners are picking up more of the task than in years past, and women do have a lot on their plate, stress wise. But. Where is the rest?

I was surprised when I picked up the book; for such a meaty topic, the slim volume was a bit disappointing. Valenti makes the usual but still very valid arguments for happier parenting; a more parent friendly environment with flex time options, better parental leave, not putting all the pressure on mom to succeed at all of the things but I was still left wanting. I have read extensively on this topic before, so I have heard much of this conversation already but I wanted Valenti to go deeper. She has the ear of much of the mainstream media and I felt she could have expanded each section in the book to include so much more. There can be more solutions than just the ones stated before. More mothering and parenting experiences from across the spectrum could have been included. Women of color and their experiences were absent for much of the book, as were non cis-gender women and non able-bodied women, which was extremely frustrating. Each section just barely steps into the core argument before the chapter ends and the next section begins.

Jessica Valenti did have a valid viewpoint to bring to the table; she survived a traumatic birth and had a very sick child for some time after her daughter's birth. But even on a topic so close to home, she pulls back the reins. For those who are new to the topic, this book does hit the high notes. But  I would have loved to see a more substantial discussion from a woman who has so much to say.



(Photo credit: Forbes.com)

Motherhood

While reading my blog roll this morning, I came across this post by Renee at Womanist Musings and saw this on my Twitter feed, from Michelle Goodman. And I've been chewing on them both all day.

By now, most of my friends are probably sick of hearing me talk about babies. I think babies are adorably cute and squishy and my biological clock went off at 21 and hasn't stopped ticking since then. I've been gobbling down literature about motherhood & babies for a while and started eyeing cribs at Target. Point is, I want kids. I didn't always though.

After watching what my mother went through, trying to survive an abusive marriage with four kids in tow, I didn't think I wanted to put myself through that. I didn't want to be married, I didn't want to the heartache that my mother endured. But I did meet a really great guy and that's changed. But motherhood and all it encompasses has always been a topic close to my heart. Whether to become a mother or not, who is encouraged to do so and who isn't, how we mother, etc. Which brings me to the two aforementioned articles.

Renee's post talks about a lot but the part I want to focus on for this post is the unrealistic expectations (American) society pushes on mothers. It's hard to believe that anyone bounces back from pregnancy related weight gain in ten weeks, but with the latest celebrity mom's boasting about it from every magazine cover, it just enforces such a belief. It's also part of this again American idea that we must have everything now, now NOW! We are not a patient people, but that's a whole other post. It's unfair, sexist, unhealthy to push these ideas and practices on mothers.

The second article describes a situation that actually happened to a friend of mine. She was recovering from a C-Section and she and her fiance were in the process of buying their first house. And the company refused to process the loan until she went back to work. How many different ways are we going to punish mothers? The maternity care in this country is laughable, there is no decent maternity leave (or paternity leave) system in place and not to mention that mothers get paid less overall.

Mothers and motherhood is something near and dear to my heart, and not just because I want to be one, although it may seem that way to my friends. It pains me deeply to see what they go through, only to be vilified, humiliated, and punished for not living up or exemplifying an unrealistic standard of motherhood. It's time we change.