Wednesday, July 30, 2014

"wifey"

This shirt is complicated. My husband and I call each other hubby and wifey and it doesn't bother me. But wearing a shirt that states the same thing does. Why?

I first saw it mentioned on A Cup of Jo, as a sweatshirt. I thought it was definitely cute. I think the Mrs. necklace from Kate Spade is cute, as are new family names signs...eg. the Smith family, est. 2014. They are trinkets, announcing a new identity. One could argue that a-you don't need anything beyond a wedding band or b-you don't absolutely need to announce a change to the world. But I wanted the cute stuff, the kitchsy Pinterest identity come to life. Humans want to fit in and I'm no different. Maybe I wanted a tangible way to show, aww, cute, we're a new team.

Maybe I liked the shirt because my husband and I each kept our names (I use the phrase specifically because the onus is almost always on the woman). I don't use Mrs. either.

I'll say it outright, it's hard being one of two women in a group of married couples who kept her birth (maiden name, can you please die a slow death?) name. I've been told I'm not really a real wife because I kept my name, a fact my father-in-law loves to ignore come Christmas card season. When I asked him why he refused to use my name, I was told my real title was Mrs. Husband's Last Name. You can imagine why I'm not close with this man.

I also haven't fully accepted the "wife" part of my identity. Four and a half years in, you would think otherwise, but I'm a stubborn one. I worry about being seen as only a wife-nothing else. But is it bad to be seen as a wife? I'm not ashamed or regret being married and I realize it doesn't cancel out the rest of me. But since there is such a focus on women's relationships as being the sum total of their being, being married kinda takes precedence over my other identities: college graduate, photographer, etc.

I'm not sure if I'll ever feel completely comfortable with the wife title. I've seen marriages go horribly wrong but I've also seen beautiful love stories. Only time will tell. But in the meantime, I think it will be an ongoing process and confronting, in a good way, what marriage is and what I can make it, which will include how I label myself.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Less and less

I've recently come across this website and I'm bookmarking almost every article. I read this one today and it struck a chord with so many things I'm trying to accomplish this year.

It will all get done, or it won’t. Either way, you will be ok. You can start stopping the madness by calling a catch up truce with the following:

  • Blog reading. If your blog reader is full and you have hundreds or thousands of posts waiting for your attention, start over. Declare blog reading bankruptcy and hit “clear all”. This might be a good time to assess what’s in your blog reader too. Did you add a paleo blog last year and now you are more interested in updates from a vegan blogger? Were you following a blogger that changed focus and lost your interest? It’s ok to remove blogs from your feed. There is more goodness to come. Make room for what means most to you right now.
  • Social media. If you haven’t checked Twitter or Facebook in days, you are not obligated to read everything that was posted while you were gone. You didn’t miss a thing and chances are, whatever you missed will be repeated.
  • Entertainment. You don’t need the latest TV, books, movies, games, music to be completely fulfilled. It will all be available if and when you are ready and if you are never ready, that’s ok too. Letting it go feels so much better than keeping up with it all.
I've had books on my Amazon "To Read" list since I graduated college. I've had books on my shelves just as long.

I'm taking this year to clear out the clutter: I've gotten rid of close to 75 books, cut down my Twitter and Feedly lists and purged my file cabinet and hard drive.

I realize I have better things to do than endlessly chase or organize or clean things in my life. I joked with a friend that it was time to shit or get off the pot. If the books on my list or shelves aren't read by the end of the year, they get donated.

We have so many items that fight for our attention on a daily basis, why not cut the fat and truly enjoy the things we love?

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Sunday Snippets: Mid Year?

I'm trying to shake off a summer slump; vacation, too much Netflix, etc. I have a lot more I want to get done before the end of year!

Being a photographer = pretty much this

Beautiful I love open road shots.

A lovely sentiment

hahahahaha True statement right there.

Me = watching most modern films

Not surprised, but still disgusted

I mean, who wouldn't want a three foot cat?

Aww, happy owls!

TW-Some of these reactions make me wanna barf

Several weeks ago, 28-year-old Minneapolis resident Lindsey was standing on an escalator when a stranger began touching her hair and calling her “blondie.” When she told the man he “could just say ‘hi’ next time,” she said, he began screaming at her and calling her ugly. The situation reminded Lindsey — a longtime confronter of catcallers, most notably in last year’s Craigslist ad gone viral — that while she could control her reaction to street harassers, she couldn’t always anticipate their reaction to being confronted.

It was then she had the idea for Cards Against Street Harassment: pocket-size cards women could download, print, and hand out to their catcallers, explaining why the attention was unwanted without even speaking.



The whole tragedy is so devastating and to think of how many brilliant things could have come from those researchers....it breaks my heart.


Shanesha Taylor, a mother living in Scottsdale, Arizona, was arrested in March after leaving her children, ages six months and two years old, in the car while she went to a job interview. But on Friday, Maricopa County announced a plea agreement that would drop the charges against her if she completes classes and establishes trusts for her children.



But within a married couple wherein the woman keeps her name, embracing all these potential snares and giving a child the woman's surname can be an intentional way of shaking up convention. That is the case for Molly Caro May, who, in an essay at The Hairpin, muses on what happened when she and her husband, Chris, went for it simply because they wanted to. And given that their friends and families had always been open-minded, she writes, they were not prepared for the shockwave.

What kind of evil prank?

 This little house looks adorable

Ahh, so cute!

Friday, July 25, 2014

#schwopkinsincorolla

It wasn't a long vacation, but it made me realize that I want more simple in my life. I got up before six am to take pictures of the sunrise with two friends and then made four batches of delicious waffles.

Pretty awesome.





More photos on my website!

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Sunday Snippets: Vacation!

I have a beach vacation coming up; the first vacation since my husband and I's very simple honeymoon more than four years ago. And I need it. Car broke down and we realized I'm going to need a new transmission by the end of the year. Ugh.

Welp, there you go & More on the Hobby Lobby mess & Counterprotests

If a store brags of their discount merchandise brought to you with this primary goal in mind:

Honoring the Lord in all we do by operating the company in a manner consistent with Biblical principles,

…it makes you wonder which Biblical principles they are referencing. You would think they would produce their goods in a state or country with the strictest adherence to “Biblical Principles.” This is far from the case. Most of their merchandise is imported from China: where female infanticide and forcedabortion is the highest in the world. China truly is the most egregious abuser of this form of population control.



Great website for those across the pond Ten thousand percent agree, I can't begin to imagine how terrifying it would be to have an abusive caregiver as a disabled woman.






Because puppies

Wanderlust I love pictures of roads like this.

This needs to be known. He was a creepy ass motherfucker when I saw him on campus and his response is disgusting. #HumanityAgainstSexualAssault

In case you need to vomit today.... #jadacounterpose

Boost and donate if you can

The Eagle Bull- Oxendine family is being sued by their child’s school for defamation, because they asked the school to permanently change their offensive and culturally insensitive Thanksgiving curriculum and to honor a two-year scholarship taken from their daughter after they voiced their concern over Native appropriation there.

Some happy pictures of books I need some happy after this week.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Sunday Snippets: Summer Swampiness

Every summer I tell myself I'm going to move. I could bathe in the humidity this week. But avoiding the outdoors for the most part meant I got all the things done. So that's the good flipside.

Love old places

Ah, yup

(TW) Heartbreaking

Her aunt, Beatrice Loggins, spoke lovingly of Shancez, citing her uniqueness as a person. "Nobody deserves that. Straight, gay, purple, pink, white, black. Nobody...There will never be another T, you couldn't clone her, couldn't mold her."

*insert gif of Shut up and Take my Money*  Alternatively, why aren't we funding this? Oh, right, oil companies.

Yup, because cats I do this when I see dogs or cats out on the street.

Two Sides of Baltimore-GO read now.

My black friends call it Baldamore, Harm City or Bodymore Murderland. My white friends call it Balti-mo, Charm City or Smalltimore while falling in love with the quaint pubs, trendy cafés and distinctive little shops. I just call it home. 

Well, that's completely adorable

Fucking preach Especially important after this week

LOL

Because kitties & No matter their size, they all love to cuddle Gah. Want to pet.

People wonder why I'm terrified of deep water It's because if I saw this, I would bend over and kiss my own ass goodbye.

Very important. Words do matter.

AWESOME photo & Buh. What?!?

The hell? Not that I'm surprised or anything

Awesome idea. Props to these guys

Hells yes

When was the last time you put yourself out there? I have found the more you do it, the easier it is. Promise. Try it. It's secretly addicting!




Anthony Weiner being correct and relevant? Huh?

All aboard that Nope train to Fuck It Ville


Yup. Ruth Bader Ginsberg for the win

Monday, June 30, 2014

Adventures in Homeownership: Cabinets Aren't Supposed to Stay on the Walls, Right?

Apparently, I'm determined to rip most of the cabinets off the kitchen walls. They work better as kitty hideouts anyway.


(Midnight inspecting things)

I wanted to open up the kitchen area more over the large countertop because before I removed cabinets next to and over the fridge, I felt like I was in a hobbit hole every time I stepped into the kitchen.


(cabinet on the wall)


(Husband helping to remove things that may crash upon our heads once we attempt to wrench cabinet off the wall)


(Naked wall! Avert your eyes!)


(Fresh paint!)


(All pretty again!)

I can't wait till I can take down the cabinets over the sink....open shelves....mmmmm

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Sunday Snippets: Almost July?

I've gotten so much done in the last few weeks but can't believe it's almost July.

This. All this. Fuck that racist twat waffle.

See gifs for explanation


or






Extreme TW for an awful case of domestic violence Beyond heartbreaking and awful.

Indeed. A case of WTF? How dare you?





Late last year, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand of New York and Representative Rose DeLauro of Connecticut, both Democrats, introduced the Family and Medical Insurance Leave Act, which proposed offering new parents and caretakers the ability to take 12 paid weeks off each year. Workers would contribute 0.2 percent of their wages to the Social Security Administration, which would handle paying bills. Employees could only get up to 66 percent of their monthly income, but that's a great deal more than the 0 percent workers in 47 states currently receive if they stay home with a loved one. 

Feels. All of them

Because puppies

Because goats

Because guinea pigs

Monday, June 16, 2014

Adventures in Homeownership: Decoration & Restoration

So I've done things to the house. We finally took a weekend to wash the exterior and seal it. It turned out to be easy, but since we got the five year Behr stain (in coffee, if memory serves) we won't have to do it until I can command any future children to do it for me.


Using a roller means my arms were covered in the stain.


Pretty house! (Ignore the deck now in need of love)


So in my zeal to de-clutter, I decided to tackle hanging art and pictures. I love having pictures of loved ones up on the wall. But since a good chunk of the house has wood panelling (and I don't feel like patching holes in wood) most of the pictures are sequestered in the dining room.


It just looked too messy and disorganized. So....


Everything came down.


I don't have frames for all (purged those too) so I just taped a few up, so get a sense of how big future frames would need to be. I also plan on painting the trim so that might help that wall look more finished.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Sunday Snippets: Yay summer!

I am rejoicing the warmer weather. Even when I drive a black car with leather seats. It's okay, I didn't need skin or anything.

Because cats & This is what is like to have a cat, period. & Even big cats are kitties at heart

Wonderful news

AHEAD OF HER TIME’: YURI KOCHIYAMA (1921-2014)

Disgusting

Very Cool!

Now, though, she's planning to embark this month on a flight around the world, a trip that closely replicates the 1937 journey of the original — and more famous — Amelia Earhart. If she's successful, this Amelia, at 31, will be the youngest woman to circumnavigate the globe in a single-engine aircraft.

Completely awful

Alba Quiñones Flores started her period the first week that she was in the custody of US Customs and Border Protection. Every morning, a guard delivered sanitary napkins to her cell of 20 women—but only four or five pads for all of them. Quiñones couldn't scramble to the door fast enough to claim one. She'd injured her ankle crossing the Mexican border before CBP picked her up near Falfurrias, Texas, and she still hadn't received first aid. A CBP agent had thrown out the pills and insulin she needed to treat her myriad health problems, including hypertension, diabetes, migraines, anxiety, and convulsions. So Quiñones wound up using the same, single sanitary pad for her entire period.
Bad-ass

If you are reading this, thank this woman. Her name is Grace Hopper, and she is one of the most under appreciated computer scientists ever. You think Gates and Jobs were cool? THIS WOMAN WORKED ON COMPUTERS WHEN THEY TOOK UP ROOMS. She invented the first compiler, which is a program that translates a computer language like Java or C++ into machine code, called assembly, that can be read by a processor. Every single program you use, every OS and server, was made possible by her first compiler.
Ah, childhood.

The third one makes me want to scream and punch something Because WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.

Heartwarming "Mommy Wars" my ass

Say what you will, but this is a family that seems to really love each other

Welp, that's one of the most adorable things I've ever seen

To Read: Yes, all I had no idea about the first one.

And people wondered why I'm terrified of the ocean/deep water Because it will eat your soul.

Fuck. Yes. Awesome and lifesaving idea.

Because if you deviate from the norm.... *off to find the book*

Ugh. Truth

Smaller Closets I also did some thinking on this subject this week.