Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Abortion Ban & Miscarriage

I was just shy of six weeks pregnant (first few weeks you aren't technically, since they base the due date on the day of your last period) when I started spotting and eventually miscarried.

Steve King put forth HR 490, which states "that an abortion provider 'who knowingly performs an abortion and thereby kills a human fetus' without determining a heartbeat, informing the patient of a heartbeat, or proceeding regardless of a heartbeat would face fines and up to five years in prison. The bill includes limited exceptions for the physical health of the pregnant person but not for 'psychological or emotional conditions.'"

The sesame seed (the size of the clump of cells I hoped would eventually yield the newest member of our family) that grew for a short while inside me would have been deemed a baby and thus protected by this sexist bill. Yes, this eventual child was very much wanted, but what about for the person who was pregnant and didn't want to be, for a variety of reasons?

People who can bear children across the US have told, wrote and shared their stories about abortions, wanted children and everything in between. But the sad fact is that many Republicans in Congress just don't care. They don't care about people who bear children being seen as people with complex lives. They are forced birthers and while Planned Parenthood does amazing, life saving work beyond abortions, I, for one, think we should stop minimizing abortions.

Abortions are safe medical procedures that many people have. I know four people in my close community that have had them. And there is nothing wrong about them. I don't give a good goddamn why someone has an abortion; if they feel incapable of caring for a child, then why do I care if they have an abortion?

Abortion without apology. It's a perfectly legitimate procedure and I'm beyond tired of seeing it demonized.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Sunday Snippets: Twelve Days

12 days until a racist sexual predator who can't run a lemonade stand to save his life takes the highest office in the land.


Lol, yup, totes lazy *rolls eyes* I worked two jobs at the same time in the midst of the post recession scene, because I had no other options.


The Invisible Workload That Drags Women Down

"I didn't want to lose my identity"

File under Um, yes?

Wow, fuck this guy

Not all heroines wear capes This woman is awesome!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

2016 Recap & 2017 Goals

Basically 2016.

I had high hopes for this year because 2015 was basically 2009: Anxiety the sequel. But that didn't happen. Like at all.

2016 Goals:


-Go away for my 30th (Berkeley Springs, WV)-Done! We had such a blast. It was so nice to get away for awhile.

-More time with friends. I miss my people. I want more brunches and take out on my couch. Done! I started scheduling at least monthly visits with friends.

-Leave work at work. I need to stop checking email after hours. Halfies. I try not to check email after 5pm. I don't always succeed.


-More dates with the husband-Done! Even if it's just watching our fav YouTube channels.

-Anniversary photo session in April-Done! I'd like to do one every year if I could!


-At least one writing date a month. I really really miss sitting down to write. Halfies. I did about six months out of the year.

-For realises, submit Moose Girl to two chapbook contests. I'm going to grab the latest issue of Poets and Writers and see what is available. I did enter one, and was waiting to hear from them before I submitted elsewhere.


-Pension paperwork for husband. It needs updating. Done!

-Create wills for each of us-Definitely need to put this in the works, especially with us trying for a child.

-Pay off ACS/student loan-Threw a hefty chunk at it and if all goes right, I'll be able to pay it off with our tax refund!

-Pay off credit card-Done!

-Tackle five house items: bedroom update, laundry room update, fix problem areas in roof, pave driveway and install a wrap fence around 3/4ths of the yard.-We did update our bedroom, got a new washer, but for some of the other stuff, realized since we are planning on selling in 3.5 years, some updates aren't necessary. (That is unless the economy tanks, in which case, hello house for a while.)

For 2017, I actually used the Powersheets that Lara Casey makes, to plot out my goal planning a bit better. It was a different experience, and thus far super enjoyable.

My word for this year is Intentional. I've done a lot of coasting and I want to take a more active approach, but one that is smart and concise.

I have 6 goals for this year, with the idea that they may change throughout the year.


-Less clutter (overall)- I want to trim social media accounts, emails that I get, physical stuff in the house and financial accounts (ie less debt).

-Read two books a month


-Celebrate and cherish, especially while trying for a child. I don't want to lose what we have.


-Fill My Well-I want to move more. I want to rest/heal my body. Lots of acupuncture, more massages, getting back to walking around my neighborhood, lots of naps and when I can swing it, mani/pedis.


-Spending hiatus for the first three months. I've spent far too much and want to scale it back.

-Pay off two debts: a personal loan with my credit union & my first student loan!

Overall, my main goal is to be more intentional with my time.

Monday, January 2, 2017

2016 Books Reviewed

Annual wrap up! I also made a Pinterest board, where all of my reviews are linked.

Book Review: Simple Matters
The reason decluttering, slow living and conscious choices are the buzzwords lately is because something has to change. I know I was the not the only one who felt it during and after the Great Recession. A lot of people wanted a change. We were well stocked, but restless. Boyle notes this throughout the book, stating, "When our lives are crowded with endless supplies of stuff, we lose the ability to get excited about something new."

Book Review: The Feminist Activity Book
The Feminist Activity Book capitalizes on the latest adult coloring craze in the best way possible. I mean, where else could you do this?

Book Review: Spark Joy
The third section is the shortest, but like her first book, so gentle and touching. Kondo reiterates her original message but elaborates on the finer details. She wants the reader to enjoy their life and she knows that many people can't because they are bogged down, literally in some cases (she has one client who has a staircase of books that Kondo must gingerly climb up), with stuff that they don't love. Part of why tidying works, Kondo says, is because "tidying up means confronting yourself". It's easier to bury emotional baggage that you don't want to confront in cute stuff around the house.

Book Reviews: Here's the Plan
This is a guide, in every sense of the word, for women who will be experiencing pregnancy or child rearing. Downey surveyed over 2,000 women on a range of topics, which she broke down into 8 chapters, starting with the specifics of family leave (the author makes it very clear throughout the book to emphasize that it is family leave and fathers and other guardians should use it just as much as mothers), putting an action plan in place for work while out, what happens if discrimination rears its ugly head, various care options, returning to work and tackling change for women in the future.

Book Review: Shrill
"it was just part of the lifelong, pervasive alienation from my body that every woman absorbs to some extent. Your body is never yours. Your body is your enemy. Your body is gross. Your body is wrong. Your body is broken. Your body isn't what men like. Your body is less important than a fetus. Your body should be 'perfect' or it should be hidden."

Book Review: How Does That Make You Feel?
But this collection also contains small and large beautiful moments of people receiving the help they very desperately need and it's not always the patient. Juli Fraga's essay, "When the Therapist Cries" is a moving piece about patient boundaries and how to navigate them as a human being, let alone a therapist. Or Allison McCarthy's piece, "How About a Hug?" covering similar issues, but from the view of the patient.

Monday, December 12, 2016

Adventures in Homeownership: Bits and Bobs

We did a lot of revamping this fall in the house:

-Repainted our bathroom in our bedroom. Water spots + enclosed spaces = Hello Killz paint. Our bathroom was an off brown before, but with the new white paint, I didn't even realize how dark it had been before, now that it's so bright.

-Swapped out our offices. Which was the most work. Repainted both rooms, ripped up carpet, sealed the concrete floor, purged, etc.

Repainted old office, with storage stuff inside.

-We also finally got a new dining room table. I wasn't a fan of the old one (too big and I prefer rectangle ones). I scored this one at the ReStore in Silver Spring for a whopping $25!

-Redid a bit of our entry way. New little table, hung hooks to keep bags off the floor and used S hooks to hang hats, gloves, and scarves.

-I have longed for an old school banker's lamp for ages. And I found one. At our local thrift store for $5. I may have danced.

You can also see my new alarm clock. My old one decided, on its on whims, to switch back and forth an hour around Daylight Savings, both in the spring and fall. Super fun to wake in a panic because it's an hour later and you're late for work.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Sunday Snippets: Savoring

I really miss being a kid sometimes. When I could actually savor/enjoy the fall holidays, rather than having them as placeholders for the Christmas season.

It makes me so sad that I can't get into the Halloween or even Thanksgiving spirit because I'm being smacked upside the head with all things Christmas.

Yay adoption! And fostering! I wish it weren't so damned expensive. I would love to adopt.

Whoop, there it is


*hides in a bottle of whiskey* I'm fucking scared.

Bless this man

Love this So very accurate, especially for me with anxiety

America 2016, same as it ever was.

A white police officer in Baltimore violently dragged a Black teen out of his home after he requests a warrant, and the whole wrongful arrest is caught on video.

With Standing Rock

I really hate people sometimes. It gets worse around Halloween.

No Need to Reply