Sunday, October 11, 2015

Sunday Snippets: In Law Visits

My mother in law is visiting our house for the first time (she lives in FL, so we don't see her often) and this will also be the first we've seen her since our wedding. I really adore her and my mom also isn't batshit crazy, so we kinda flout the stereotypes. Our fathers, on the other hand.....

Daily Reminder Fucking sad that none of this surprises me

*Hork* Gag worthy

Redlining is Alive and Well—and Evolving

“Redlining,” the practice of banks and real estate agents steering black and Latino families away from predominantly white neighborhoods, is often spoken of in the past tense. We tend to think of it as a vestige of Jim Crow, of a thankfully bygone era when people wore racism on their sleeves and wove it into neighborhood engineering without repercussion.

Some recent cases, however, show that not only is redlining alive today, but that it’s also evolved in many cases into racist practices that aren’t as detectable as they were during Jim Crow.

Mass Killings in the US: Masculinity, Masculinity, Masculinity

In the interview Mercer called the event “devastating” and explained he was still trying to understand it, but he took the time to issue a passionate call for the U.S. to restrict access to firearms

17 Powerful Quotes About Racism In America


Monday, October 5, 2015

Adventures in Homeownership: Round Up Edition

With the weather sidling most of our plans, we did some serious puttering around the house:

Fixed my rug (more here)

I started (finally) using Ebates and once you make your first purchase, you get a free Target giftcard.

Displayed our new oil candle, a gift from friends.

Re-arranged nightstand area. 

Close up

Husband made a custom paint stirrer for the drill. He's inventive like that.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Sunday Snippets: Hurricane?

It's been a little over three years since Hurricane Sandy. I'm hunkering down with the husband, cats and copious amounts of liquor to ride out this latest storm.


You have to understand, that no one puts their children in a boat unless the water is safer than the land.”


This is one of the instances where karma is going to fuck this dude up

For Halloween 2015, Just Say No To Blackface

File under duh

Awww, elephants

Whoop, there it is

I do believe another gent in history had a similar idea....

Why doesn't she get the same coverage?

Poor babies


“They said it’s safe, but it’s brown water,” said Marshall, also a radiology coder, after the meeting.“Why do we have to drink brown water? No one else has to drink brown water.”

What happens when a young girl of color goes missing? Who searches for her? Who tries to bring her home safely? Not the police, as the short film Muted shows.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Book Review: I'm not a Slut: Slut-Shaming in the Age of the Internet

I was thrilled that one of my all time favorite books,
Slut! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation was getting a follow up. I first read Slut! at 16 and it was one of my awakening books, the "Oh, this actually happens to other people/I'm not alone" type of books. I eagerly anticipated the same feeling with Tanenbaum's newest, but I was sadly and woefully disappointed.

The book is broken down in nine chapters, starting with the differences of slut bashing and shaming today versus twenty years ago, the differences between a "good" slut and a "bad" slut, how online harassment has developed, sexual assault and how to cope and eventually eliminate the term. Tanenbaum states upfront that there is a lot of ground to cover because "the label 'slut' is far more common, and utterly more confusing than ever before. But one thing has not changed: regardless of context, the consequences of being labelled a slut are nearly always damaging." Damaging indeed. Countless young women, including Rehtaeh Parsons, Felicia Garcia, Audrie Pott, took their lives after brutal and disgusting bullying, mostly about their sexual lives. The author states that one thing that has changed is that there are now two separate types of harassment: slut-bashing and slut-shaming, the latter being a causal way of judging peers, but still nonetheless harmful because it polices others' behavior. The term 'slut' has always been about controlling women.

The book does include some very thoughtful and important points, like specifically calling out the fact that "the components of a slut's sluttiness include: displaying agency, being active rather than passive, choosing her actions....Agency is a critical element of the sexual double standard, in which only girls, never boys, are called to tasks for their real or presumed sexual aggression."Women who don't toe the party line or play the game have been called aggressive or slutty since the beginning of time. Calling a woman a slut "convinces girls and women who have been victimized that they are the ones who have done something wrong," when in fact it is a tool to subjugate women. Young women "[recognize] that sexual equality does not in fact yet exist in practice. When a girl and boy are identically sexually active, only the girl is treated punitively."

The book concludes with talking about the StopSlut movement and the activism, both online and in the public sphere, including Hollaback!, all of which are making a noticeable difference in women's lives around the world. One of the appendices also includes good ideas about halting toxic behavior, like calling out someone who uses the term slut or ho.

However, there were several disappointing parts in the book. While Tanenbaum includes the ethnicity of the young women she interviewed (skewed toward white women), she also included physical descriptions, such as hair style and clothing choices, which seemed unnecessary. And while many aspects of the digital age are numerous and sometimes understood only colloquially, the author plays up to the fact that she is out of date. Social media isn't difficult, nor are teenagers a separate species.

One of the biggest issues was the discrepancies in advice or judgement. On one page, this is stated: "It's true that something is horribly wrong. But hand wringing, clucking or lecturing girls to behave 'appropriately' or 'modestly' is an ineffective as a 'Do Not Track' app." And yet on the very next page, "We wonder: Don't young females today recognize that if they sexualize themselves, particularly in nonsexual contexts such as school, others will regard them as sexual objects?...Are they really so clueless?" And yet still on the next page, "In general, these girls claim that they make clothing choices for themselves, not male attention. This, my friends, is a smoke screen." Gobsmackingly, this same book spoke about agency and how "sluts" take agency and control and are thus penalized for it. I'm at a loss as to what effect the previous statements could possibly hope to make.

I appreciate the situation as it is currently: we want to encourage women to dress and act as they wish, because they are independent human beings, but also must acknowledge the fact that rape culture and outdated and dangerous attitudes prevail, which lead to whispered advice and contradictory attitudes about drinking while out in public. But the advice given seems deliberately contradictory.

When the book ended with appendices, I admit I was incensed. They included "Don't insult your daughter over her clothing choices" for parents but in The Slut-Shaming Self-Defense Toolkit, "Don't binge drink" and "Don't dress in a sexually provocative manner unless you want to be looked at sexually and can handle being reduced to a sexual object" were listed. For the latter appendix, the author does preface with "It's never your fault for being slut-shamed or assaulted. The ultimate goals described in this book are to eliminate slut-shaming and to redirect blame for sexual assault onto those responsible for it: the assaulters."

Since Ms. Tanenbaum is unclear on the topic, please allow me to state it unequivocally: "A woman could be stone cold drunk, unconscious and a gigantic arrow pointing to her orifices and guess what? STILL ISN'T HER FAULT THAT SHE WAS RAPED." It is utterly galling to read a book geared toward young women seeking advice about how to combat sexist attitudes and harassment that includes those very same judgments within the same book. As previously mentioned, I understand how difficult it can be to help women avoid assault. I realize attitudes and actions take measurably longer to change, but this book feels yet again that we are putting the onus on women to avoid rape rather than teaching men healthy boundaries, consent and to not rape women.

(Photo Credit:

Friday, September 18, 2015

Fall: A Round Up

This photo is part of the #DSFloral collection on Instagram. I love the vibrancy contrasting with the dark background, the texture is gorgeous and screams Fall.

There are some songs that, as soon as I hear them, I can see the dark leaves, moody rich colors of fall.

Is This Real-Lisa Hall

Change In the House of Flies-Deftones

I Put a Spell on You-Bryan Ferry

Crazy in Love-Sofia Karlberg (we'll ignore the fact that this song, along with so many good ones, were put in that awful movie)


(Photo credit:

Monday, September 14, 2015

Adventures in Homeownership: Emergency Kits

Having an emergency kit has long been on the running to-do list for the house. We've slowly been adding to it and while it is far from complete, we have a good stash so far.

We have candles, tools, compostable cutlery, sewing kit, tools, lighters, matches, zip ties, and rope.

Sleeping bag, hydrogen peroxide, medical kit with extra tape, a book on easy to treat medical issues, waterproof bags for cells, extra roll of paper towels, four sets of MRE's and a propane stove. Not shown is a box of important papers and hard currency. Every list I've seen states that having cash on hand is the best because if the power goes kaput, credit card machines aren't not going to be an option.

Maryland gets a lot of pretty impressive thunderstorms, so I'm designing this eventual finished kit in mind with the idea of us not having power for a week (which happened before when we lived in an apt).

We also have several 2 liter bottles of water sitting in our fridge and freezer, both for extra water and to take up space to preserve energy.

I couldn't resist throwing in some other stuff because hey, I've seen The Walking Dead. I need to know I can repair a broken leg on the middle of a high way. You know, because I think realistically.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Sunday Snippets: Cleaning

Three times a year, I deep clean the house; flip the mattress, scrub behind the toilet, etc. Only this time, I get to do it fighting a cold and Satan's waterfall. Thank god there's scotch in the house.


At the start of the encounter, a deputy says, “Natasha, we’re here to take you out,” and then McKenny utters her last words: “You promised me you wouldn’t kill me. I didn’t do anything,” McKenna says.

Fucking heartbreaking.

Oh, but we live in a post-racial world! Fuck these assholes.

The passive language used in reporting to disguise domestic violence

Your pain is unexceptional and does not matter until a white man feels it too.


Well, now I'm wondering


This moron

But that won’t do either, apparently. Her lawyers’ petition, which you can readhere, claims that Bunning’s expanding the injunction was inappropriate, and that he’s shown “extraordinary doggedness” in letting legally eligible people get married willy-nilly, without offering Davis “jurisdiction or fair notice and opportunity to be heard.” It also claims that her clerks were “coerced by the threat of contempt sanctions” into granting marriage licenses.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Sunday Snippets: Fall?

We've had a bunch of 90+ days. I've relished summer long enough, I think some cooler weather will be nice.

Of course no news cameras when this happens

A Fox News article Thursday claimed that St. Louis-area demonstrators expressed “no outrage” over her murder. The only issue? That’s not true.

Mass shootings since Sandy Hook, in one map

LOL, well, guess I'm using Instagram incorrectly

a suicide help line that works like a text-based instant messenger  GREAT idea!

Awww, feels

#Radazz Hearns


And there it is

The Scott sisters will remain on parole and be required to pay the state of Florida $52 per month for the rest of their lives. Each time I think shit can't be real, nope, it is.

One of my two upcoming book reviews!

We're so unwilling to believe that any man could be a rapist, but any woman for sure could be a vengeful, horrible beast.

Aww, poor baby! I feel ya dude.

Utterly fascinating!

They’re calling it Archive Corps. One of the volunteers registered the domain for Scott, and the idea is that if something needs saving, dedicated Archive Corps volunteers could mobilize to do so—whether it’s a manual store in Maryland, a warehouse in Nevada, or a library in Canada.

Thursday, September 3, 2015


I have found a way to carve out chunks of quiet lately.

My new favorite being:

My normal commute had part of it completely re-routed, so I started taking a different offshoot, down two heavily wooded paths. I roll my windows all the way down and will usually turn off the radio, just to listen. At this time of year, the cicadas are in full swing.

Friday, August 28, 2015

New photos!

I spent the day at the beach with friends and got some new waves shots, including the one below!