Monday, December 30, 2013

Wherein I try to Pinterest

It's been a day and most certainly a week. So after dinner, I decided to finally try out some of those hairstyles I pinned on Pinterest. (Forgive me if this breaches Pinterest etiquette---actually doing the stuff you pin.)

It went down like this:

-Marched into bathroom.
-Opened phone to scroll to Pinterest.
-Checked work email.
-Opened Pinterest.
-This pin, actually:
-First step done.
-Second step..."Okay, she's making a ponytail...and holding it like it barfed on her."
-Third step..."Oh, lord."
-Digs through bottom of ponytail. "Help fingers, meet me on the other side!"
-Yank through approx. three strands of my hair.
-I decided to let go.
-Look up in mirror.
-"So that's a no, then, huh hair?"

So I attempted a second hairstyle.

-Second try:
-Looks down at phone: "Oorrrr, I could keep scrolling."

-Third try:
-"Ooh, good this comes with written instructions!"
-Digs bobby pins out of bathroom drawer.
-"Section off small section of hair...I guess that's easy when you already have perfectly coiffed hair, huh, pinterest model?"
-Grasps hair and dives for bobby pin, dropping hair.
-Grasps hair with one hand, fumbles with bobby pin. "How the fuck are you supposed to keep this stupid thing open?!"
-Wiggle one bobby pin in.
-Reach down to grab second bobby pin and am rewarded by hair falling out of first bobby pin.
-Call husband into bathroom.
-Husband comes running in, panicked because the phone made me sound scared.
-Hand Husband bobby pin and asks him to help me.
-Now Husband looks terrified. "How the hell am I supposed to do that?" "I can't do this mess on my own!"
-I hold my back my hair as Husband attempts to secure first bobby pin.
-Husband: "How the fuck are you supposed to work this thing?!"
-First bobby pin secured.
-Hand Husband second bobby pin.
-Husband miraculously pins the second one.
-Bobby pins hold for less than fives seconds and fall out.
-Husband inches out the bathroom door as I begin laughing and crying at the same time.

In short, does anyone have cute hair style ideas that work for hair that is very thick and apparently immune to normal Pinterest ideas?


  1. hahaha What woman can not relate to this?!? I do something that I found on pinterest for weddings and things that I love. You get the clear tiny rubber bands and put your hair into three pony tails at the base of your neck. Then you just twist them into buns and pin them down. Mine are always messy and that's just part of the look. You can add some hairspray first to make sure they are a little dirtier and easier to work, and maybe even tease your hair a bit at first to give it some texture. But really if some hair falls out of the bobby pin then just add another pin. It's my only go-to!