Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Name Game

I've written about the name changing choice before, but it's back in the news again, with Beyonce announcing her next tour.

The Mrs. Carter Show.

For the record, I love that they each took one another's names. *raises glass* To each their own.

But as an aside, I find this extremely frustrating.

"When the respondents were asked why they felt women should change their name after the wedding, Hamilton says, “They told us that women should lose their own identity when they marry and become a part of the man and his family. This was a reason given by many.”

I'd love to see more men change their names. Or even be asked. My husband was never asked if he would keep his "maiden" (which, could we please come up with a better term?) name. He would have to go through sky high hoops to change his name because it's not expected and there is no easy set up like there is for women who want to change their name.

Or this.

"Today, she is indeed Mrs. Hislastname. But she didn't want to be, and her decision was not anything like a free choice--no, there wasn't any law dictating that she had to change her name, but pretty much everyone she loved except me was putting pressure on her to do so, to the point where she felt she literally had no other option. That doesn't happen to men. And that bothers me."

"When it becomes perfectly normal for couples to consider taking either name, or keeping their own, orblending, or both hyphenating, or both taking a brand new name--when the question actually expands beyond, "Should she take his name or not, and if she doesn't, how will he feel?"--then I'll believe that women truly have a free choice when it comes to marital naming decisions."


The beautiful thing about feminism and the push for equal rights is that you have a choice. If you want to take your partner's name, you can. If you want to hyphenate, you can. If you want to keep your own name, you can. Etc. While choices aren't made in a vacuum,  I'll be damned if I try to infringe upon each person's agency to do what they wish with their own life.

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